A Tradition Is What You Make It

I hope you all are enjoying October and the fall thus far! This month always makes me incredibly, painfully nostalgic for college at Kenyon; the very, very special spot in central Ohio where I spent four years, met my husband, sang my heart out (oh yes, a capella group style...) and learned how to throw parties with the best of them. Seriously, some of the best soirees I've ever been to were during those four years at Kenyon College.

People were so creative, it was ridiculous! Must have been something in the corn-filled air or in the food at the dining hall or in the beer in the keg...I don't know. But I do know that some of the most outrageous ideas I've ever seen came straight from The Hill, as we fondly call it. For example: The "Shock Your Mama" party - where you might just see someone dressed in Saran Wrap. Or the "Redhead Party" - where everyone arrived with red hair - real and fake - and feasted on red food and Killian's Red. Or, my personal favorite, the "Luge Party" - where we built a luge from a 500 pound block of ice IN our bathroom and served a delectable array of juices and potions that you would drink in tandem from one of the two handmade trails down the ice. Sounds like fun, right? I'd be up for one of these parties tonight - if only they didn't start about 3 hours past my current bed time. :)

There are so many ways that you can take inspiration from college or another special part of your life and incorporate it into your wedding or special event. For instance, we had an event at Kenyon called "Freshman Sing" where all of the Freshmen would stand on a set of stairs outside and sing all of the dozens of school songs while the rest of the school would cheer (or jeer) us on. We would then do this again as Seniors - an emotional and nostalgic nod to our time as naive first year students.

Why not have a sing along at your event? This does not only need to be reserved for holiday parties. One of *the best* wedding ideas I heard lately was from a producer in LA who I worked with last winter who told me that she handed out sheet music to her guests and had everyone since a rousing rendition together of "You Are The Sunshine Of My Life". How cute is that? Now that's a wedding moment people will not forget any time soon.

Traditions come in many shapes and sizes. At Kenyon, it seemed there was a tradition for just about everything. My family was always full of traditions so this felt natural to me, but at the same time definitely pushed me to maintain and create traditions in my own life and family - things that can be carried on for years to come. You may create a tradition at your wedding or event that you decide to do every year on that day. A tradition is what you make it. If it means something to you and is relevant to a special moment in time, there's no reason why you can't carry it on, give it a name, and make sure that it lasts a lifetime. Now off to buy a block of ice...

XOXO

grace

September Bliss

Hi All!

I apologize for my delay in posting photos from this fall's weddings. I've been very busy planning and coordinating and not taking time out for this little blog of mine. Alas, here are some gorgeous photos taken by David Watson of Get Lit Lighting of the lovely and elegant wedding of Kristen & Blake that took place on September 19th.

The wedding ceremony was at St. Mary's Chapel in Raleigh and the reception (see photos) at Prestonwood Country Club in Cary. A beautiful wedding for a wonderful couple who could not have been sweeter or more gracious - I miss them already! Enjoy and hopefully I'll have more to come soon of the bride in her stunning gown and of more of the day and details.

Special thanks for a fabulous wedding to Sondra Johnstone at Prestonwood, JW Walton and The Catering Company decor team, David Watson for lighting, Party Tables, CE Rental and Classic Party Rentals for linens and rentals, Fresh Affairs for spectacular flowers, and my helpers Katherine and Alex for their amazing work.

XOXO

grace

Cheeky Chic

Check out the new Blog by one of my favorite gals, Lindsey "Fifi" Cheek, for all things fashion, weddings, home furnishings, and just generally gorgeous things to covet. She has exquisite taste and an an incredible penchant for finding treasures worth absolutely drooling over.

www.fificheek.blogspot.com

Be Where You Are

Fall wedding season is upon us and that means that many of you have your weddings coming up soon! And that means that you could probably use a little pep talk - am I right?

I've been planning weddings over a decade now and while that pales in comparison to the careers of some of my mentors and other who inspire me, it is long enough to have a lot of real life experience in the trenches under my bedazzled belt. Well, all of this experience would be for nought if I didn't have YOU to share it with!

I hope that these little gems that I provide here and there can help you to relax a bit more, enjoy a lot more, and most importantly, to be in the moment. One of my favorite sayings is "Be where you are". It's so simple, yet something that we all forget to remember and struggle to achieve. If you can be where you are, at your wedding, you will undoubtedly have a time to remember. In order to do this, you have to remember one of the other great phrases of all time: "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff". And even more important to remember, it's all small stuff.

So, here goes - my fall "play list" for how to get the most out of your wedding day:

• Wear your shoes around the house every evening for at least a week before your wedding day...you'll thank me, and so will your feet.
• If you don't have a planner, make sure you double and triple check your transportation plans. These are so often the plans that get lost in the mix and most often are the plans that go wrong. Assign a friend or family member to be in charge of the transportation on your wedding day. Have them get the names and cell phone number for the drivers. (For what it's worth, transportation details alone are a fabulous reason to hire a "day of" coordinator!).
• Remember that if you absolutely hate calla lilies and one accidentally makes it into your bridal bouquet, that it's not the end of the world, your bouquet is still gorgeous, and your mascara will run if you start to cry.
• Do your best to drink a glass of water in between cocktails at the rehearsal dinner. The stress and emotion of your wedding day is enough to handle sober and with a good night's sleep - a hangover can help to turn mole hills into mountains.
• Be sure you get ALL of the power requirements for the band, DJ, generator, and anything else that requires power at your venue, ahead of time. An impromptu power outage can really put a damper on things.
• Outdoor ceremonies and receptions: Rain plan, rain plan, rain plan.
• Weight gain: Spanx, Spanx, Spanx.
• After your father (or other family member) makes the welcome toast, do not let him/her release the microphone for open toasting. It's inappropriate to do this at the start of the night (or at the wedding in general - that's what the rehearsal dinner is for), and can really hold up the service of the meal - not matter whether a sit down, buffet, or stations. Nobody wants a flustered catering staff and starving guests eating cold petite filet.
• Have someone bring your overnight bags to the hotel early in the day. You don't want to wind up at the hotel with nothing to wear the next day except a day-old tuxedo and wedding dress!
• Making a Do Not Play list for the band or DJ is just as important as a Must Play list.
• Remind family members ahead of time if they are to remain at the ceremony spot for photos after the ceremony. This saves a lot of time and running around trying to gather people for formal photos, which in turn means more time for you to enjoy the cocktail hour!
• For the love of you-know-who, do not smash cake in your darling's face. This is your wedding, not a scene from Meatballs.
• When all else fails, and if everything does fail, SMILE. You know what I always say: the only thing that people will remember is a stressed out bride.

XOXO,

grace

P.S. Thanks to Shane Snider for the gorgeous photo of Whitney and Ben.

Recipe For Success

Building a beautiful and successful event is like following a recipe of your own creation. You have to take it step by step, add just the right ingredients, and you'll come up with the most delicious dish you've ever tasted. The fun part is that the ingredients are largely up to you. While you do have to focus on things that are "mandatory" like selecting vendors, a venue, perhaps booking transportation, hotel blocks, and doing other mundane wedding tasks, the icing that is the design, decor, look, feel, and flow of the event, are all in your hands.

The recipe is made up of gorgeous linens...
Some kind of beautiful chairs with coordinating seat cushion covers and and maybe even a decorative and lovely charger plate...
A napkin to match and flatware and glassware that suits your style perfectly...
Unexpected touches like a patterned gold cloth on the bistro tables near the dance floor where revelers will rest their drinks...
And a color palette that suits your space and complements your individual style. Your wedding is your opportunity to highlight the design elements that you are drawn to. And while it's not a time to showcase everything you ever liked together in one room, if you take the time and care to extract certain elements of style that appeal to you greatly and above all, work in concert with each other, you will have created a recipe for an unforgettable affair.

XOXO

grace

P.S. Thanks to CE Rental and Classic Party Rentals, both of Raleigh, NC, for the fabulous linens, chargers, chairs, and other rental items.

You Can Count On Me

Besides being a fantastic movie, I also think that "You Can Count On Me" is one of the greatest movie titles ever. And while Mark Ruffalo and Laura Linney play a brother and sister who look after each other, the phrase always makes me think of my girlfriends. Where would we be without our friends?

Being a bridesmaid in a close friend's wedding is one of the ultimate experiences one can have. Certainly a lot of us have experiences of being bridesmaids for family or one of 14 for a high school friend or get roped into handing out programs for a family friend we barely know, but there is nothing like being asked to be in the wedding party of someone whom you dearly love.

This photo arrived this week on a CD from Scott Robert Photography of Los Angeles, who shot the wedding of Milyeri and Neil that took place in Durham this March 7th. I find this photo so sweet because you can see how excited she is, how enthusiastic her friends are, and above all, how they are helping her on her big day.

Let's not make light of it: being a bride is stressful. Being a bridesmaid shouldn't be. We've all seen the parody on YouTube of the bride cutting her hair off in a moment of hysteria. Sure, it was a farce, but don't think I haven't witnessed something very similar to that episode in person only moments before a bride went down the aisle. There is a lot of pressure around being a bride and that is why brides (for the most part) choose their wedding parties carefully, and surround themselves with people on whom they can rely.

I'll never forget being asked to be a bridesmaid for the first time by my good college friend named Suzy. I was so excited and honored and couldn't wait to share my great news and good fortune with a couple of co-workers at The Knot. The two women I chose to tell were 30 somethings, who I imagined would understand my elation and be willing to do a dance of joy with me around the office to celebrate my wonderful news. Instead, they offered up terse quips about how they'd "been a bridesmaid 10 times and it's a pain in the ass" and how I'd "get over" my excitement soon enough and how it's "expensive", "time consuming" and "a drag". Weren't these people wedding professionals? I was heartbroken.

That said, I carried on my merry way and maintained my elation at my big duty all through the gorgeous wedding day at the Charleston Yacht Club. Suzy made me a bridesmaid for the first time and I'll never forget it. She is about to celebrate her 10th anniversary, and I can still remember how I felt at 23 in that dress and with those flowers. I felt special.

Being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor. It's not something to whine about or complain about or gossip about with other friends who haven't been asked because believe me when I say, they often wish they had been. Being an attendant to your friend on the most important day of her life is a privilege and a joy, and I really hope you can enjoy it each time as much as I did the first time I walked down that aisle ahead of my friend. As a veteran of 11 bridesmaid experiences, I can tell you that each was unique, wonderful, and beyond memorable. But I wish I'd spent half as much time complaining about the cost of the dress or how my butt looked in it, and instead focused entirely on the good luck I had to have some of the most generous, supportive, loving, gorgeous, wonderful friends on the planet - and who without a doubt had weddings to match. I love them all to the moon and back and would walk down that aisle again for them in a heartbeat, too tight $350 dress and all. Wouldn't you?

XOXO

Livi & Jeremy 8.8.09

We were fortunate to be a part of Livi and Jeremy's gorgeous Carolina wedding last Saturday at the Carolina Inn in Chapel Hill. Livi and I met nearly four years ago in our Junior League Provisional Class in Durham. (I was a fair weather Junior Leaguer and didn't make it past a year or so...don't know if Livi had more success with it!). Jeremy was a golfer at Carolina undergrad. Together they make a beautiful, fun, and unforgettable couple.

We'll have some photos to post soon but in the meantime check out this link to the trailer for their wedding video, as shot by KA Studios of Charlotte. Keith and Aimee are amazing wedding videographers and an absolute pleasure to work with. Thanks also to Tamara and Courtney of Tamara Lackey Photography, the Jamie McLean Band, the Purple Puddle, Corda Entertainment, Capital Style Limousine, and of course, Julie McCay and all of the fabulous staff at the Carolina Inn.

http://www.kastudiosblog.com/a-tarheel-wedding-livi-and-jeremy/